The Goal Post

 

It is 1 pm on a Sunday afternoon and I am caffeinated, clean, and dressed, which is a win after the week I've had.  My household rang in the New Year with Covid.  It's the first time any of us have caught it.  While I'm not ecstatic it happened, I'm grateful everyone is on the mend.  No complications, No hospitals. Now back to our regularly scheduled New Year's plotting.

I generally see this time of year as a time to rest.  The days are short and cold.  Everything outside is dormant, hibernating, and lethargic.  It's also our quiet period at work, being an outdoor historical site.  No school children, no field trips.  We're closed to the public for two blessed months.  Time to research and plan for the coming year.  Being on my butt with Covid for over a week was an enforced rest. Remember... if you don't rest every once in a while, your body will make you.  So, with all this enforced rest and time to think, I've made some goals and a business plan for the year.

2022 was a light year for my art, but an important one for my life in general.  I didn't make very much art, but all the time, care, and creativity that usually goes into my paintings, I aimed at my wedding instead.  I couldn't be happier with how it all came together, or more grateful to all the people who helped make it happen.  And now I'm building a life with my wonderful, loving partner Paul.

I have my own little traditions around New Year.  I don't do resolutions.  I choose a word of the year that helps me achieve specific goals. Last year, and specifically for the wedding, my word was MANIFEST. The year before it was Energy. In 2020 it was Focus, and in 2019 it was Discipline. They build on each other. Discipline...Focus...Energy...Manifest... CONFIDENCE.

Confidence, or my general lack of it, is something holding me back that is within my power to change. I have a few limiting beliefs about myself. I think we all do.  For example, I think I'm a crappy writer, which is why this blog is so sparse. These beliefs were helpful once.  I was one of the "gifted" kids who was picked on a lot in school, so I learned to shrink myself.  I learned my voice was neither important nor welcome and that just stuck with me. I learned I shouldn't do big or important things.  I learned to keep my goals small. When I got older and did accomplish things, there was always some petty person around to knock me down a couple pegs. Since I already had those limiting beliefs, I let them.

So, this year I'm going to work on my confidence. Banish the Imposter Syndrome and remember that I DO know what I'm doing. Maybe I'll even get on camera again. During the lockdown, I made youtube videos for the previous museum I worked for. I've never made one just for myself, about things that interest me. I don't even know what that might look like. 

I do have some concrete goals for the year. I thought I might share them with you. I'm doing a no-buy year with a strict set of rules, but that's going to be its own blog post. I have a modest reading list of 25 books.  If you'd like to read along, my January books include The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, which I read every year for a Discord group I run. Dark Mirror by Yvonne Burrow, a really useful one if you try to use your winter months for inner work. For my day job, I'm reading Peoples of the River Valleys, The Odyssey of the Delaware Indians by Amy C. Schutt.  I'll be working with an artist from the Delaware Tribe this spring, so I'm getting some research in. Closer to Imbolc I will pick up Brigid's Light by Cairelle Crow and Laura Louella.

I have big goals for Drawing Down Lore.  I'm keeping these action-based, not results-based, and all things that are under my control.

1. Finish the illustration commission that's been burning a hole in my easel since June.
2. Create or improve one online presence per quarter. specifically my portfolio website, etsy, Threadless, and finally launch a Patreon.
3. Vend one in-person show per quarter.
4. Approach one shop or gallery per month to gauge interest in carrying my work.
5. Finish the Major Arcana for Tarot Equus.  I stalled out on the project after the Wheel of Fortune.  I have 11 cards completed. 

I'm putting a lot on my plate, starting the year off with a week of rest might not have been such a bad thing. I hope everyone reading had a peaceful holiday.  I hope you had a chance to rest.

Looking Back... Looking Forward

Hello Lovelies,

I wanted to offer my reflections for the new year.  I hope you and your loved ones are well and safe. <3 

Looking back... all I see is how incredibly lucky my family and I have been, and I'm grateful.  2020 had so many horrible things happen to so many people.  There's an ingrained belief in our culture, within the "American Dream" narrative, that anyone can do well here, that poverty is the fault of the poor.  That narrative needs to die.  Especially when one instance of bad luck- an illness, a natural disaster, a job loss... puts a family into bankruptcy and/or out on the streets.  My family has been insanely lucky through this past year, and for that I'm exceedingly grateful.  I'm grateful to the doctors and nurses, first responders, last responders, and everyone teaching, modelling, and enforcing safety guidelines.  I'm grateful to the people who have kept society running, essential workers who SHOULD BE PAID not just a living wage, but a thriving one, because we can't function without them- grocery store workers, warehouse and delivery folks, sanitation workers, utility workers, educators, and caregivers.  

For me personally, the lockdowns have forced me to stop dead and reevaluate where I put my time and energy.  I'm an extrovert, and an over-achiever with a bad case of "Helium Hand" in the organizations I belong to.  Pre-Covid I was out socializing, practicing, or volunteering every weekend and most week nights.  I was constantly doing too much. Well, too much for me and what I can reasonably handle, and I neglected my own needs and goals.  The lockdowns changed all of that. Suddenly all of that stopped and I was, and am, forced to take care of myself and focus on what I actually want in a way I never had before.  That part of all of this has been good for me.  I'm taking care of my mental health and learning what my needs are in order to surf the chaos and thrive when things are uncertain.  My focus has narrowed away from all of the running around and I've been able to pour my energy into virtual teaching for the museum, my artwork, and looking after my family.  

Looking forward... I miss my friends and the rest of my family, and I'm looking forward to the day it will be safe for us to Gather close again.  In the meantime I'm going to keep painting for Drawing Down Lore, keep creating resources for parents with little ones, and keep looking after my household.  Every New Years I set goals for myself and choose a word that ties them together.  In 2019, the word was Discipline.  In 2020, it was Focus, coincidently.  My word for 2021 is Energy- building, managing, and directing it.  This has been an exhausting year in a string of exhausting years, but this one topped them all.  So I wish you energy.  Energy to keep going when you want to give up.  Energy to rebuild if you need to and make the changes you want to see- in your own life or out in the world.  I wish you the energy you need to get through the day.  Rest if you need to, its ok to take a break, but please don't give up.

IO Elpis.  Happy New Year, Lovelies. I love you.  

Blessed Be,

Kerry Mairie

Horsing Around at Dawn

Tarot Equus- The Fool

Unite and unite, oh let us all unite,

For summer is a-comin' today,

And whither we are going, we all will unite,

In the merry morning of May

~Pastow May Song

Mist on the Princeton Battlegrounds

Happy May, Lovelies!

I have been a practicing Pagan for almost half my lifetime, and completely horse-crazy for damn near all of it.  Beltane is a sabbat I hold near and dear to my heart.  It marks my entry into the Pagan community, and an annual event where my love of that community, folklore, and horses all merge.  The Fool card for Tarot Equus is an homage to that first experience.  

My very first ritual with Grove of the Other Gods, my Druid Grove, was on May 1st, 2006. At dawn on the Princeton Battlegrounds I watched in fascination as the mists rolled back to reveal dancers in white.  They carried scarves to wave or sticks to crack together.  Bells tinkled on their shins and colorful bandoleers.  Half way through the dancing, my new friends and I stepped up to sing an old song, modified from "Padstow" to "Princeton". 

Millstone River Morris

 A strange creature took the field, accompanied by a pirate.  The pirate hopped about in a high-stepping jig.  He held a sun-backed mirror, which he used to lead the beast around the field.  The creature had the vague shape of a horse and rider.  The rider was veiled and swathed in a wide, swinging curtain of colorful skirts.  They flared out as the creature spun and cantered about, revealing the legs of the dancer underneath.  The beast's head was black, with red eyes and a wide smiling snapping mouth.  The mane and tail were white wool yarn full of tangles, flowers, and bells.  Half way through the song he dropped to the ground, to die with the last of winter's chill.  The song paused, crescendo-ed, and the horse jumped up and back to life, symbolizing the new summer and the rebirth of the Earth.  After the song was over, the little 'Oss pranced through the watching crowd, accepting pats from the adults and pulling small pranks on the children. His name is Happy Snappy, the Princeton 'Oss.  The morning wrapped up with a Maypole dance, and everyone joining in to sing Hal-an-Tow.

Happy Snappy

All of this was completely new to me.  I had never heard of Morris Dancers, the 'Obby 'Oss, or Padstow, where these traditions go back centuries, but I was hooked. Its an event I never miss.  As of today, I met Happy Snappy and Grove of the Others Gods 14 years ago.  I served six of those years as Snappy's dancer.  He's been on the Princeton Battlegrounds, at dawn, almost every year for the last 25. The Padstow horses have been dancing far, far longer, and I will write a post about them at a future date, but today I want to remember.  I chose Happy Snappy as my Fool card, in part because the hobby horse's dawn revels began my own journey as a Pagan.

A few of us met over Zoom at dawn this morning to sing the Hobby Horse song and Hal-an-Tow together.  Happy Snappy danced in his own yard in New Brunswick. The Morris Dancers are are doing the same.  I miss my Grove, my community, and I hope that by staying away, no one will be missing when we meet again.  Stay safe.  I love you all.  Happy May, and Blessed Beltane.

Come visit me at Dreamation!

Hello Lovelies!

It's been awhile!  I'm aware that as far as social media's concerned, Drawing Down Lore fell off the face of the Earth in October.  I have returned with an update!

My goal this year is to complete the Major Arcana for Tarot Equus.  In January, I finished the Wheel of Fortune card.  The Wheel will be available on my etsy shop as a postcard.  The Chariot and Strength cards are next.  I would like to go back and redraw some of the first cards I completed several years ago for #RetryJuly. 

I have seen my work improve since I began this project.  I signed up for a Schoolism subscription to keep that momentum going.  Its been a solid ten years since I graduated with my BFA and a refresher would only help me.  I'm currently working through Thomas Fluharty's Drawing Fundamentals class.  So far it's been excellent.  The combination of lectures, assignments, and recordings of past critiques have helped.

The last few months I have also been taking on commissioned works from clients, mostly character portraits for tabletop Gamers.  I'm an avid Pathfinder & Starfinder fan myself, so I'm happy to take these on alongside my long-term projects.  Geeky Gamer art is as fun for me as Geeky Pagan art, and there are points where the two can overlap.  I am open for more commissions.  In the past I've worked on illustrations, tattoo designs, and larger paintings for my clients.  Some of these I have permission to post, some I don't.  The above photo is a character design for a fellow Starfinder player. 

That brings me to my next event- I will once again be in the Artist Alley at Dreamation!  Dreamation is a LARP-Focused gaming convention run by Double Exposure.  If you're in the North Jersey area, come check it out!  I will be drawing commissions, painting custom roses, and giving Tarot readings at my table.  I will also be helping out and giving away shorter Tarot readings at The Puzzling Tea Party at 2:00 PM Saturday.  This is an excellent game run by a friend, and I recommend it if you love tea, Steampunk or Victorian dress, and puzzles.  Dreamation begins at 6:00 pm Thursday, February 20th and runs through Sunday, February 23rd at the Hayatt Regency Morristown and Conference Center in Morristown, NJ.  See you there!

Welcome to Drawing Down Lore!

Hello Lovelies!

Welcome to Drawing Down Lore!  I'm Kerry Mairie, an illustrator and museum educator. This blog is my garden of ideas and a place to sow my research for my long-term project, Tarot Equus.

Tarot Equus pairs equine myths and legends from all over the world with tarot symbolism.  It is  based on the Waite-Smith tarot. Throughout the deck are stories of gods, spirits, legends, folk traditions, and monsters.  Some might be familiar, like the unicorn and Odin's horse, Sleipnir.  Some may be new to you, like the part-man, part horse Tikbalang of the Philippines, or the flying horse Uchchaishravas of Hindu culture.

At the time of this writing, almost all of the cards are planned out and I'm well into drawing the major arcana.  This project will take some time.  There will be a total of 81 images: the deck, the card back, and two additional magician cards.  Why three Magician cards?  I had three ideas for the Magician and couldn't decide which one I liked best, so I drew three.  I have a companion book to write as well, to serve as both a key to the tarot and a story book.  That's where this blog comes in.

I'm ecstatic about this project.  I hope you will follow along as it develops.  I will be posting some of the images from the deck here.  You can also find my work on Instagram, on Facebook, and on Etsy.

Blessed Be!

Kerry Mairie